If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
