summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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