Fuck appropriateness.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
