You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bring me that man meat
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
