She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
