how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
