So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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