There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
