ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
