For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
