You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
