he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
