Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
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