Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
