thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize