sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
