fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
