Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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