And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
