she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
