hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
