The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
