So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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