Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
