Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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