Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
