why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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