I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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