margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
