So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Randomize
