i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
