today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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