A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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