That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
