Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
