it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
