i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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