she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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