Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
