ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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