Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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