She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
