so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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