Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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