I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
