oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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