Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
