If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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