Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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