i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
