Little spoons don't ask big questions
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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