My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
