Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize