I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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