just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
where are you?
Hypothermia
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
