My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
