shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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