I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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