if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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