I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
