Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
