i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
