Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
